I have to admit I’m a bit uncomfortable with the new Times article about grandparents raising grandchildren. To read the article, it sounds as if I am almost single-handedly taking care of Rozie and Sebastian, when in reality, that is so very far from the truth. There is a saying that it “takes a whole village to raise a child. In this case, it is taking a whole family.

Yes, I am actively involved in their lives. Yes, I made accommodations and shifted my life around to fit the kids. But so have many others involved in loving these babies. My husband – Steve Weber, makes sure Sebastian’s up and off to school mornings go smoothly while I dash around trying to get ready for my Chicago commute.

Jeremy and Amy, Jamie’s brother and his fiancÈe, have reordered to lives to “accommodate” my hectic schedule in order to allow me to continue working on my doctorate. After their upcoming marriage, they are moving in with us for a while so the kids don’t experience another sudden loss in their household. Amy is, in many ways, acquiring a built in family.

Jordan, 20, is learning how to do the “daddy” things as well. He is often called on to take someone to the doctor, or get the kids from daycare, bathe them, and tuck them into bed.

Jon reads stories, provides transportation, and watches a very active 3 year old when “Nana” simply needs down time.

Jamie’s dad’s family loves Saturday’s with the kids. We still all meet for family counseling sessions once a week, to help us deal with our ongoing feelings of grief, anger, sadness, and overwhelm. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, all offer their love and support and the much coveted prayers.

Jamie’s death has brought about a strong sense of community – with her children at the center. I would have it no other way.

The terrific people at the Duneland YMCA childcare program, spend loving hours with both Rozie and Sebastian. The kids know they are loved and cared for. But no one person can claim to be “the” caretaker.

People wonder how the kids are doing. They are loved. They are rearranging the way the look at the world. They miss mom, but they
thank God for the people around us, who support us, love us, send short notes that just say, “I’m thinking of you” and offer their prayers as well.

So many pay-it-forwards in action.

Love you guys. And you know who you are.

Peace,